Thursday, December 3, 2009

I Remain

My posts will not always recount events in the order in which they occur. Rather, they will be made as I am able or inspired to write them. Thus, posts about the wedding and honeymoon will come later, even though I am married more than a week now.

On the day of our return from five perfect days in Lake Placid, Kathy flew off to Lesotho for two weeks. There, she was greeted with song and dance - as was only fitting. My heart sings and my spirit dances whenever she appears.

And I struggle with her absence, for she is my home, now.

I Remain

My alarm pierces a vivid dream of doors
And familiar voices. With no one to hold me I relent
And rise. I dress to exercise, swapping
That old shirt you abhor for the one I got
As a souvenir, after riding a bob-sled
On a mountainside with you in Lake Placid.

Downstairs I hunch over my cereal alone,
Balancing on the edge of the couch,
Wondering where your flight
Has so far gone. A few minutes of low impact
And then some stretches. I am done.
You think I’ve lost too much weight
As it is.

I shower then dress, donning
One of your favorite ties. Imagining your reaction,
I spike my hair for that mischievous smile
You wear so perfectly, and might
Were you not between here
And Johannesburg. Or more honestly,
I do it for the smile I wish I could see
In front of me right now.

I finally have my ring and that is a certain comfort,
But it reminds me too that we are wed
And too soon apart. Nonetheless I know
That I am closer to the sky since our vows.
So I pause my morning for the Writer’s Almanac
As you always do.

I practice the new song I learned on our honeymoon,
The one about the roses and how
I could not leave you there - the one I learned
To stir you
And to satisfy myself,
For these are now the same.

Then as I am shutting down the lights,
I see the bed unmade. Your ghost
Graces the curves of the tussled sheets,
And I wish to leave that image
Undisturbed. But I make it neatly
For it has aired as long as you could wish
And I want everything
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbReady for your return.


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